your thong is hanging out like whoa
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
