The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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