Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
