mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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