Will you blow on my dice?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
