5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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