Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
