I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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