Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
