i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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