on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
