stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
