Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
