maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
