Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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