Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
