So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its about making memories worth repressing
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
