Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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