god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
