..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
