You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
