Define "chronic" masturbator.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He passed out mid-signature
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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