chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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