i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
