I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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