You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
