"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
