Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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