Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
