The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
