I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
