your thong is hanging out like whoa
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
