I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You can't motorboat a personality
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
