That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
