Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
