i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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