am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
