I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish you could order shots online.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
