so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
