I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
