haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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