why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
