jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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