You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
