When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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