billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
