dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
