i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
