were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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