i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
